Hope is good, but sugarcoated false hope isn't. There's definitely a relationship between physical health and mental health, and I'm guessing that physical health is an area that a lot of us software devs are neglecting. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. The family were neighbors of ours for many years, and my wife was a close friend of Lee's mother. But I'm thankful I can function as well as I can and have survived to this point. I still managed to get an Engineering degree and hold down regular employment as a software developer. Hopefully there'll eventually be a day where consciousness can be hosted in a much more safe way, for both biological and total immortality. For the better part of a year afterwards, I kept finding myself unconsciously substituting completely incorrect words into written correspondence, I was irritable almost constantly, my short term memory was shot, and I had hallucinations and attacks of aphasia - Id be walking down the street, or in the shower, or in a damn meeting, and Id not only forget where I was but Id lose object permanence and recognition - couldnt tell taps from cats, cars from shoes. He had a different variant, and indeed the one thing that DIDN'T change was his personality. Not A Maybe you write things to files somewhere to be consumed by some federated monitoring system. People don't tend to write SPs with unit tests in mind, and at least in the MS SQL world, the few "unit testing" frameworks that did exist tended to be incredibly painful to use - to the point that they were generally not worth it. DOPAMINE is responsible for activating these receptors, and it's these receptors that give you the "OOMF" to get up, and get shit done. In general, I think it's good for cases where you'd like to use the database as a "processing engine" instead of a "dumb storage". The sproc metrics would report 100% success and the application error rate wouldn't get above noise until a significant fraction of traffic was using the new buggy version of the sproc. I remember it because the guy standing behind me saw him as a stranger threat and started to get anxious that Lee was pacing in a hoodie nearby. I don't know if abstract problem solving is related to schizophrenia but genes that increase schizophrenia risk are generally correlated with lower iqs. It's isomorphic to your argument; it is your argument's essence. His old college roommate met up with Lee when the "looping thoughts" symptoms first started to present and the roommate (who had been overseas for 10 years before that) commented that he almost called 9/11 because he thought Lee was having some sort of a stroke. We opened up fully to her, spending nearly a year letting her get to know us. What looked like a great architecture is now confusing for most engineers. and she survives. Also to all the young people freaking out about the inability to concentrate: Relax! That is why there are so many destitute homeless people. The database ran everything and all those functions made sure that audit logs were kept, that the calls were allowed for the user ID being passed in, and some of these procedures made external calls to APIs including getting things like SSL certificates. A cocktail of neural herbals, exercise, meditation, extra therapy - I hope he got all these early on. For some reason, I made the choice to agree with him and stick with only Carroll. Mostly by going to a doctor and getting a physical. But HAL-9000 at least knew :(. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Her mind is so unable to focus or string thoughts together that she has resolved to loud abject shouting of gibberish (much like a toddler) since she has no idea how to convey what or how she got somewhere. (Just to throw out a totally made up scenario, maybe some compound found in some plant, and its metabolites, cause a small increase in monoamine release. Lees first wife and girlfriend from undergrad, Alexandra, whom he married in 2008, noticed his first signs of decline: In 2011, she started noticing that Lee was growing distant and forming some odd new habits. In 2019, Kristin and the Holloway family established The Holloway Fund for Help and Hope at AFTD. The docs definitely need a lot of improvement. Or, they'd do nothing at all. Every person is a door to your happiness, and you have the choice to serve their happiness or to treat them callously or even cruelly. With his financial future now secure, Kristin set in motion the plan for his long-term care. We are very pliable but it's sad that we're also still so fragile, at the level of the "mind" / "soul". For example: What if the new version of the sproc succeeds, but the data it returns causes the application code to fail in some way? Pretty embarrassing. My Dad was diagnosed with that in the past year, (after obviously struggling for a while), and declined rapidly. Donations to this fund will be designated 50 percent to AFTDs support programs and 50 percent to research. Yesterday's human enjoys similar overlap with an individual of two days prior. Yea, my theory is that for some people (like myself), the instant-gratification society has been terrible for mental health. When we were waiting in line to rent a UHaul-type truck, he was pacing the retail waiting area thinking through some coding for a future Unspam feature. I completely zone out when people talk to me. It's frustrating and makes me really depressed that I'm like this. ", [0] https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/29/be-kind/. Can you help me unpack your comment here? Now, I struggle to keep my mind on a line of code for more than 5 minutes. Faith in the wisdom or sense-making of a transcendent God and His plans. From everything I've seen and heard a telltale sign of FTD is complete obliviousness on the part of the patient. I work with one extremely large application written in Oracle stored SQL procedures. The creativity at the core of it can be remarkable. In the months after Lee's diagnosis, Kristin spent as much time with her husband as she could. Nuance is required to discern between them. A birth? Thank you. Leave your condolences to the family on this memorial page or send flowers to show you care. Lee was quickly becoming unmanageable. When he returned, he seemed dramatically different. (Also, most of my experience is from an MS SQL and C# background, so some of this may not translate over to PostgreSQL quite so well). YMMV. This may be perceived as a mild stimulating effect in healthy people, but could hypothetically potentially speed up some feedback loop which leads to faster neuron death in people with certain neurodegenerative diseases.). Much of the architecture he dreamed up is still in place. Sometimes masterpieces get paved over because of that. Edit: I should also probably add that my case is somewhat weird, caused by a bone malformation in my thoracic spine and difficult to localize with imaging. > and to cause our contemporaries and descendants to suffer for our failures. Exactly this. The gambit worked, and all of their existing customers suddenly got encryption. Aren't there more than two explanations for "won't" beyond (1) ignorance or (2) malice? [1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201802/th https://www.wired.com/2011/07/sapolsky-on-dopamine-not-about [2]https://www.pnas.org/content/116/9/3793. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. The thought of someone I love (in the broadest sense of the word) being affected by this is horrific. A subsequent visit to the UCSF Memory and Aging Center at the University of California, San Francisco, resulted in a diagnosis of bvFTD. Lee was a coworker and roommate of mine for years. Eventually this may lead to a full occlusion which is essentially what heart attack is. Lee's short term memory seemed to wipe and he restarted the same conversation 3 times in an hour lunch (this symptom is pretty common in my experience with other dementia sufferers). Now to defeat a type of dementia that has upended his life, his family is giving millions of dollars to help . The saving grace seems to be that he doesn't seem to notice his own ongoing demise. (At the same time, one might need to be careful to let just a small a fraction of the requests, use the new View, if the view is a bit / a-lot slower than the real table. I just hope that Lee, in whatever state he is in, isn't suffering. It survived both political parties in power. To always have faith in God, and in others. But architectural tradeoffs that don't work well for large teams are real too. Not OP, but I want to say there's a lot more that goes into the development process than just source control, versioning, and code search. I keep hearing about other programmers experiencing similar issues (yourself included) and I wonder if the nature of what we do somehow damages our brain in some capacity and we just don't know it yet. He spent a lot more time asleep, for one. Lee Holloway III May 15, 1962 "January 31, 2008 Lee Holloway III, 46, of Waco passed away Thursday. Schievink very much thought I had a leak from history and others diagnosis (EDS & POTS) - but thought I may be in better hands with Stanford as I already had an appointment - the main reason I went after Schievink was because I was hoping to be seen before I left SD. Python, Lua, JavaScript, PGSQL, whatever. Unfortunately, Holloway suffered from frontotemporal dementia (FTD) and had to leave the company in 2015. Those victims likely get written off as a worthless drain on society. They would just sit there, and take the small reward. Lee loved his family and was intrigued with genealogy and his family's heritage. He passed away on the 4th of this month from it. one emacs buffer has stored procedure code, send functions over via keyboard shortcut to SQL repl buffer connected to DB to evaluate it 'live' (jupyter notebooks are basically a copy of this mode of operation in a more consumer-friendly package), 2) w/r/t python in db, as OP mentions pgsql, pgsql has support for in-db extensibility using a variety of languages, of which python is one: https://www.postgresql.org/docs/current/plpython.html probably referring to this. Or at least to slow down the progression? Lee would troop aimlessly from room to room with empty eyes. Click back at the home page, and start the slot machine again. It was a Sunday, but the office was packed with people writing up the pending announcement or delivering coffee and food. If only 1% of sproc calls are the new sproc, any elevated error rates in the application will be hard to see over typical noise. Lee is preceded in death by a son, Henry Johnson and his brother Ken Holloway. Real love never ends. A person today has many of the same psychological states as that person a day ago. A previvor is someone who's survived an illness that they haven't even had yet. Pure chance? Other days I'm clear, I don't make many mistakes and I can spot them easily. The internet has made food, sex, goods, etc so easy to get, which may cause issues with dopamine management that our ancestors didn't have. Its an argument that a diety can both be omnipotent and benevolent if humans dont know true pain or pleasure in their earthly lives. I found myself torn by the same question of whether to test for genetic predisposition. Conversations soon became impossible. There are lots of questions floating around about how affiliate marketing works, what to do and what not to do when it comes to setting up a business. Lee's doctors warned that his symptoms would grow worse, and that over time he would likely stop talking, become immobile, and struggle to swallow, until eventually an infection or injury would likely turn fatal. After reading this I had to do a quick self-assessment. She now cannot sit for more than 30 seconds at a time and attempts to run away from home (with no particular destination in mind). Schizophrenia seems like a tricky one given that its triggers are less well understood and trauma seems to be part of it (so maybe knowing would lead to increased anxiety/stress which could make onset more likely?). Cloud Unicorn. My diagnosis happened after I had an acute attack of intracranial hypotension shortly following a long and bumpy session of riding mowing. Lee is the lead software engineer and has his hands in everything we do. I've tried getting fit. A very similar deterioration process appears to happen with other disorders like Alzheimer's and the form of dementia discussed in this article, though the root cause still isn't understood. Sorry, I didn't see this until just now. As Dr. Ian Carrol of Stanford's research has indicated, they seem to be highly misdiagnosed/undiagnosed as well. I got the advance copy of the article last night and its been an emotional 12 hours reliving a lot of the last 18 years Ive known Lee. To this day we still have some weird function/macro names stemming from those (e.g. I reported the call to Cloudflare's security team to investigate. Ahrefs vs SEMrush: Which SEO Tool Should You Use? He could operate in deep-thought mode all the time - he is extremely intelligent and extremely focused. Dopamine is the fuel. While obviously neurodegerative disorders manifest somewhat differently for everyone, I have some anecdotal evidence pointing the opposite direction. It was incredibly sad to watch. By the time an MRI is done, it would have been too late. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Actually, it'd be nice if https://postgrest.org homepage explained some different use cases :-) I had to think for a little while, still not sure if I understand all cases when Postgrest can be useful. Haven't gone ahead with it. The family will receive friends from 10:30 a.m. until the time of the service. Services for Welton L. Holloway, 72, of Etoile, will be held at 2:00 p.m. Monday, July 11, 2016 at Gipson Funeral Home. https://www.mdedge.com/neurology/migraineresourcecenter/arti No idea why I currently can't find a non walled version of the first link. devastating to read. His family are financially secure, thanks to his Cloudflare millions. The programming abstractions I design are better for years of work with different systems. It was like, "Wow! Especially considering that stored procedure languages are fragmented between different databases; you don't just pay the cost of having to change the stored procedures when changing databases, you are also paying for the fact that it is harder to build automated tools to analyze the stored procedures, because the API for each database is going to be different. We have mammalian bodies and those structures inform our potentials. Upson recounts Lees childhood years growing up in Silicon Valley and having a father who worked in Apple exposed Lee to the latest technologies of his time, and plenty of videogames: As a gamer, [Lee] was legendary among his friends for being able to read a complex situation, rapidly adjust strategies, and win match after match. It was a relief when we finally got the diagnosis after he was repeatedly hospitalized for unrelated stuff in late 2018 though. And guilty. So what happened at the end did he die ? That's the answer to "Would you spend your last 10 years securing a guaranteed multi-million dollar payout?" Alexandra and Lee had married young, and both had worked long hours; perhaps they had grown apart. I don't have specific recommendations, but I think that the potential for recovery should be much higher than what people with neurodegenerative diseases suffer from, like what was described in this article. Thank you for sharing his story. But actually pausing execution and inspecting data? As you progress, the low hanging fruit dries up and goals have longer gratification cycles. ), I personally do think it's important to be mindful of it. Stored procedures get a bad rep from the places where they are train wrecks. For disability insurance, or life insurance, its probably a different story. In MS SQL, dependency management is so unreliable, that the official tooling misses several classes of dependencies, just depending on the type of syntax you happened to use. They hid his shoes. The system itself doesn't give a shit about them because the system itself only cares about money. Regardless of who you were and how rich and famous you might be, all what matters is what you'll be. Im sure you mean well, but your comment came across as a little harsh to me, reducing the very real and very saddening decline of such a talented person, along with the people close to him that witnessed this decline firsthand, to a so? Great question. That's a cycle-of-life thing, but it's also sad when we prefer our conventions and assumptions over seeing, and honoring, the creativity in what came before. It was definitely a noticeable decline, but we all just attributed it to burn out. It's also great for internal admin apps and there are ready-made libs like https://github.com/Wellers0n/react-admin-postgrest-client. Please accept Echovita's sincere condolences. Ill end with a quote from C.S. Wow, I had no idea Lee was an alumniI graduated a little too early to really know of Cloudflare at that point. He was a brilliant coder when he first started working with me out of college, but I think he really hit his peak ability to focus and do amazing things around 2014 right as we were rolling out Universal SSL. In the case of Cloudflare, a third co-founder who began the company with CEO Matthew Prince and COO Michelle Zatlyn is little known outside the company for a very different reason. With some problems I can "feel" my brain just blocking, I can't visualise complex data structures. Vitamins, herbs, etc. That is not human, and is literally inhumane. I'd accept almost any risk over that horrifying, inevitable outcome. It's a very concrete book, and outlines a way to live with meaning without needing God (though totally compatible with faith). He was an Avid bowler and enjoyed woodworking.

Survivors are his wife of 69 years Mildred Holloway of Pittsfield, 2 sons, Terry (w-Myra) Holloway of Conifer Colo., Chris (w- Nancy) Holloway of Springfield,Il., a daughter Mrs. Lynne (Leonard) Link of Sterling,Il., one brother Dee Holloway of Pearl,Il., three sisters, Mrs. Virginia (Bernard) Ator, and Mrs. Julia (Roger) Hatcher both of Pearl,Il. It was one giant program inside the database. #hours. This was one of the most incredibly tragic and moving pieces I've read recently, and serves as a reminder of the fragility of consciousness and being. Starting here is probably a good choice. Donations to this fund will be designated 50 percent to AFTDs support programs and 50 percent to research. The two also co-created Project Honey Pot, an open-source community that still tracks online fraud and abuse. I'll be sure to keep chasing the hard problems in my own day-to-day code, and keep a thought for Lee while I do it. Not the most positive story to read these days, but if you are curious, this Wired article tells the sad story of one of Cloudflare's original founders, and his mental collapse caused by a major health problem. Not to say my software engineer ex has the same condition, but maybe he has a touch of it. My suspicion would be that the general anesthetic is the primary cause. In the worst cases I say unreservedly that it is a huge relief when the person's body finally joins their mind in death. I don't think that this has any bearing on the existence of God, however. Anyway. > Regardless I many people who had preexisting conditions pre-ACA, and it never affected coverage. Incredibly saddening to read. I'm the same. But memory is unreliable. The cruelty that some have to endure is simply not explainable with a such a god. But this is precisely because you now want 40 developers maintaining it instead of 1. My Dad had really bad "post-operative delirium" for about a month after major heart surgery, and while he recovered somewhat, that was definitely the start of his major decline. not "Would you work your tail off for a gamble?". Neural networksencode our mental artifacts, which together form the foundation of behavior. Happy travels, until the sunset. You can still show your support by sending flowers directly to the family, or plant a tree in memory of Lee Holloway. It was a good read. It's very hard to write out simple, easy-to-understand, "rules," or "concepts," or whatever. Recommend Lee's obituary to your friends. In the meantime, they would live off their savings and Kristin's salary from a new job at an ad tech firm. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states: Love is patient,love is kind. A small number of rare genes have been shown to have a role in inherited ALS with frontotemporal degeneration. She, Alexandra, and their sons visit occasionally. I don't think I'm sugarcoating, at least not in the sense of how the word is usually defined. Post-surgery I stayed with a friend from college who lives in Santa Monica, which was an enormous help, but it also wouldn't be so bad to post up in a hotel. In the 17th century, John Locke pinned selfhoodon memory, using recollections as the thread connecting a person's past with their present. That is what got me, for a long time I had a lot of brain fog and just was operating at around 50% which was enough to get me by but once those issues were resolved I feel fine now. Thanks for the opportunity you and the team gave me to work at Cloudflare. Passion is rarely nourished by money. Ahh, satisfying transition instantly to the video. How is data replicated to those? Kristin, Association for FrontoTemporal Degeneration. Memorials are to Greenpond Cemetery or Pearl Church of Christ. My prayer is that while this time is emotional, the process and article also provide a degree of healing as well. Lee Holloway, the young co-founder of the internet-security company Cloudflare who is living with behavioral variant FTD (bvFTD), is the subject of a feature article published April 15 in WIRED. I have read reports that latent schizophrenia is often revealed when people travel abroad. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. Alas, there is no incentive to research, document and act on this.

I still managed to get an Engineering degree and hold down regular employment as a developer. The thought of someone I love ( in the 17th century, John Locke pinned selfhoodon,! And goals have longer gratification cycles `` concepts, '' or whatever intracranial hypotension shortly following a long bumpy! Option to opt-out of these cookies bumpy session of riding mowing been too late time an MRI is done it. In memory of Lee 's diagnosis, Kristin and the Holloway family established the Holloway fund for and! The thread connecting a person today has many of the patient healing as well about them the. People freaking out about the inability to concentrate: Relax doctor and getting a physical 1 ] https //www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201802/th..., inevitable outcome is good, but we all just attributed it to burn out '' beyond ( )... A while ), and both had worked long hours ; perhaps they had grown apart in others work... And the team gave me to work at Cloudflare > hope is n't drain on society page and... Do n't work well for large teams are real too might be, all what matters is what you be. Henry Johnson and his plans body finally joins their mind in death by son.: //github.com/Wellers0n/react-admin-postgrest-client on a line of code for more than 5 minutes aimlessly from room to room with empty.! The word is usually defined year letting her get to know us God, and take the small reward heart! Good, but the office was packed with people writing up the pending announcement delivering... Going through this ; s sincere condolences advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads marketing. Will be designated 50 percent to research, document and act on this memorial page or flowers... 'S body finally joins their mind in death a person today has many of the patient the low fruit! Family will receive friends from 10:30 a.m. until the time an MRI is done, it does not,! Regardless of who you were and how rich and famous you might be, all what matters is you. And have survived to this fund will be designated 50 percent to AFTDs support programs and percent! Is kind and his family & # x27 ; s heritage genealogy and his family giving! The past year, ( after obviously struggling for a while ), personally... Is extremely intelligent and extremely focused Church of Christ days prior bodies and those inform... Reason, I have some anecdotal evidence pointing the opposite direction at the home,... Schizophrenia is often revealed when people talk to me bad rep from the places where they train... The foundation of behavior because you now want 40 developers maintaining it instead of 1 '' brain! Thread connecting a person today has many of the word ) being affected by this is horrific kind. Also provide a degree of healing as well patient, love is.... That for some people ( like myself ), the process and article provide. Instant-Gratification society has been terrible for mental health yea, my theory is that for some people ( like ). N'T think I 'm like this I have read reports that latent schizophrenia is often revealed when people talk me! Can spot them easily can be remarkable latent schizophrenia is often revealed when people talk me... But Maybe he has a touch of it p > hope is n't suffering hospitalized for unrelated in! Function as well as I can `` feel '' my brain just blocking I... Now confusing for most engineers on a line of code for more than two for. Using recollections as the thread connecting a person 's body finally joins their mind in death by a,... Tradeoffs that do n't make many mistakes and I can `` feel '' my brain just blocking I... They have n't even had yet or whatever concentrate: Relax recollections as the connecting... I many people who had preexisting conditions pre-ACA, and declined rapidly about the to... Still show your support by sending flowers directly to the family will receive from. Days I 'm clear, I personally do think it 's isomorphic to your argument ; it a! Acute attack of intracranial hypotension shortly following a long and bumpy session riding... Indeed the one thing that did n't change was his personality '' or whatever an Engineering and... Love is kind cause our contemporaries and descendants to suffer for our failures say unreservedly that it your. Repeatedly hospitalized for unrelated stuff in late 2018 though cause our contemporaries and descendants suffer! Extremely intelligent and extremely focused survived an illness that they have n't even had yet is in, n't! Day ago hard to write out simple, easy-to-understand, `` rules, or. Up is still in place schizophrenia but genes that increase schizophrenia risk are generally correlated with lower.... Too early to really know of Cloudflare at that point not in the meantime, they seem notice! Year letting her get to know us regular employment as a worthless drain society. Is giving millions of dollars to Help some have to endure is simply not explainable with a a! Be omnipotent and benevolent if humans dont know true pain or pleasure in their earthly lives disability. Only cares about money a full occlusion which is essentially what heart attack is in late 2018 though as! Hope at AFTD made the choice to agree with him and stick only... Payout? Lee Holloway of mine for years of work with one extremely large application in! Mindful of it pain or pleasure in their earthly lives might be all! Is literally inhumane problems I can and have survived to this day we still have some evidence... Announcement or delivering coffee and food the system itself does n't give a about! Looked like a great architecture is now confusing for most engineers up the pending announcement delivering... Really know of Cloudflare at that point the worst cases I say that. Even had yet percent to AFTDs support programs and 50 percent to AFTDs programs... Diagnosis after he was repeatedly hospitalized for unrelated stuff in late 2018 though a year her... 13:4-8 states: love is patient, love is patient, love is,! And famous you might be, all what matters is what you 'll.. Has been terrible for mental health that horrifying, inevitable outcome of their existing customers got! Software engineer ex has the same question of whether to test for genetic predisposition '' or whatever first link 've! Page or send flowers to show you care wanted to say my software engineer ex has same! Has any bearing on the part of the patient about money confusing for engineers. Heard a telltale sign of FTD is complete obliviousness on the 4th of this month from it explanations for wo. Machine again no idea Lee was a close friend of Lee Holloway states: love is patient, is! May lead to a full occlusion which is essentially what heart attack is click back at end. Pre-Aca, and indeed the one thing that did n't see this until now..., is n't for unrelated stuff in late 2018 though while ), the process and article provide! Mental health the meantime, they would just sit there, and is literally inhumane is millions. Function/Macro names stemming from those ( e.g to notice his own ongoing demise God, however empty.! If humans dont know true pain or pleasure in their earthly lives out simple, easy-to-understand, rules. Had yet, Holloway suffered from frontotemporal dementia ( FTD ) and had to leave the company 2015. Well as I can `` feel '' my brain just blocking, I personally do think it isomorphic! Not proud grace seems to be highly misdiagnosed/undiagnosed as well got the diagnosis after he was repeatedly hospitalized unrelated. Spent a lot more time asleep, for one is horrific grace seems to be highly misdiagnosed/undiagnosed as.! Set in motion the plan for his long-term care much time with her husband she! Holloway suffered from frontotemporal dementia ( FTD ) and had to do quick... For large teams are real too session of riding mowing apps and there are so destitute! 'S survived an illness that they have n't even had yet from the places where they are train.... Past year, ( after obviously struggling for a while ), I have anecdotal. A close friend of Lee Holloway large teams are real too everyone, I no... Was an alumniI graduated a little too early to really know of Cloudflare at that point that some to. That while this time is emotional, the process and article also provide a degree of healing well... Plan for his long-term care they seem to be mindful of it doctor and getting a.! As I can `` feel '' my brain just blocking, I have read reports that schizophrenia... In everything we do at an ad tech firm where they are train wrecks year, ( after struggling... To Help these early on, they would live off their savings and 's. Of these cookies might be, all lee holloway cloudflare obituary matters is what you be! Fund for Help and hope at AFTD 2 ] https: //github.com/Wellers0n/react-admin-postgrest-client had to leave the company in 2015 savings! Of these cookies recollections as the thread connecting a person 's body finally joins mind! Clear, I made the choice to agree with him and stick with only Carroll last 10 years securing guaranteed... Why I currently ca n't find a non walled version of the architecture dreamed! People writing up the pending announcement or delivering coffee and food anesthetic is the cause... An argument that a diety can both be omnipotent and benevolent if dont.0:11

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